Tuesday, March 21, 2006
so work has started. tiring. boring. but sufficient. im an easy girl to please so its all manageable. yupp. hmm. time passes really fast. and if you lose track of it, days, weeks, months, and even years can pass without notice. so look out.i think i have a very serious but deadly addiction to the thrills of jay-walking. i do it ALL the time. and my need to do it scares me. its really disturbing. i really have to get over that.
As you lie there, silent, and oblivious, i want you to know that i am sorry. for all my deeds. for the words i so carelessly used. and things i coldly and unlovingly said. i guess it was done thoughtlessly. no words can express just how i feel right now. because i dont know exactly what i feel and what i should feel. its a myriad of feelings. that blur my vision and as i gaze out of the rain streaked window, i wish i could see you walking back home once again, with your chin up, and arms swinging at your sides. i wish i cld hear you tell me you love me. that you forgive me, and that you understand the immense pain you are putting me through. unknowingly, of course. but it all boils down to one thing. i screwed up. and this time i screwed up real bad. this may be a scar in my heart forever. a big blot of ink on clear, crisp white paper. so evident, so visible, SO HARD TO MISS and impossible to remove. maybe i will have to imagine my closure. or, i could just get one. the kid i never dreamed of. but whatever it is, i want you to know that i love you, and that noone can take the place you have in my heart. your indispensable, irreplaceable, and truly amazing in your very own special way, and im sorry i took all that for granted. THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT OF YOU.
- IAMBELLE
Monday, February 27, 2006
IM SORRY SORRY SORRY.i know i ddnt come for the mass... but i cldnt.. i was caught up with my own life... and in a way.. im glad i wasnt there..
well anyways.. im just living life thru.. one day at a time.. slowly.. but surely.. anyways... im just feeling crappy.. i dont even know why.. i feel alone... and its all so quiet..
ever felt like silence is deafening.. i feel it now... seriously... its so loud... its deafening..
i miss my best friend... she called me to tell me its over... like forever.. there really is no turning back.. i never knew it wld affect me this much.. but it is.. its killing me...
- IAMBELLE
Saturday, February 18, 2006
HELLO HELLO! WEDNESDAY.. THANKSGIVING MASS IN SCHOOL.. ALERT! ALERT! I WANT YOU ALL TO BE THERE! (:haiyah.. life's been pretty boring lately.. havent been going out.. talking on the fone to friends and online only.. i miss you all.. going out and gossiping.. i miss making fun of you all.. and most of all... i miss taking pictures!!! (:
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :D
im in a good mood.. HIGH SPIRITS.. (: haaha.. ok now im start to sound like a psycho...
SHOUT OUTS! SHOUT! SHOUT! SHOUTTTTTT!! (:
HANSEL: THANKS FOR THE CALL.. AND FOR THE OFFER OF HELPING ME.. I AM NOT A PAEDOPHILE.. THANK YOU.. BUT YOU ARE A GAY BOY GAY BOY GAYYYY BOY... :D
ALTHEA: YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME.. MADE TIME FOR ME.. BEEN SUCH A FUCKING SWEET FRIEND.. AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR IT.. TAKE CARE ALWAYS.. AND BE GOOD.. I LOVE YOU AND MIUSS YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE MY DEAR BABY GURL! :D
NATTAYEFATTAYE: GOOD LUCK WITH GAYYYYYY-CY.. IM HAPPY FOR YOU... AND GAYYYYY-CYYYYY.. HEH (:
NORA: THANKS FOR THE LATE NIGHT CONVERSATION.. IT FELT GREAT TO TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT AGAIN.. I LOVE YOU MEEEEENAHH!(:
SHER: THANKS TO YOU TOO.. IT WAS GREAT TALKING TO YOU... AND RESTORING WHUT WAS LOST.. I LOVE YOU.. YOU BLOODY AHHHH-LIANN. :D
JENN.D: FOR BEING COOL.. MY SONG-EXCHANGER.. (: AND FOR POSTING FOR ME WHEN MY BLOG STARTS BE A REAL BITCH.. LIKE NOW.. HAHAHAAHHAHA! :D
GRAPES: STUDY HARD AT YISHUN.. DONT PLAY.. ITS IMPORTANT YOU MAKE IT. (:
OH FAMILY: I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH.. CONGRATS GAYLE ON YOUR ENTRY INTO SINGAPORE IDOL.. I WILL VOTE FOR YOU K.. AND THE REST OF YOU.. i love you all so much.. :D
- IAMBELLE
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
HEY ALL.. so latest announcement.. im retaking my o level math papers... cos i failed em.. i got a D7.. and i wanna do early childhood.. so i figured i got to retake it... well apart from that nuthing really..MY BEST FRIEND AND I ARE DOING OK! well not GREAT.. but better i guess.. maybe i do hate her boyfriend for getting in the way.. but i do thank him for making her a better person.. but how does making her better person connect with how he came in between our friendship? that i still dont get.. OH WELL..
i had a great time and united square guys! THANKS! it was great seeing you guys again...
- IAMBELLE
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
4 Jobs You Have Had In Your Life:- volunteer
- friend
-daughter
-student
4 TV Shows You Love:
-one tree hill
-whose line is it anyway
-johnny zero
-frasier
4 Places You Have Been On Vacation To:
-sentosa
-pasir ris beach
-east cost beach
-changi beach
4 Places You Would Rather Be:
- a student in ij
-hollywood
-thailand
-new york
4 Of Your Favourite Foods:
-Soup
-Bread
-Ice cream
-Chicken Rice?
4 Websites You Visit:
- My Blog
- Friendster
- Yahoo
- Launch
4 Tagged:
- Jenn.D
- Althea
- Amanda Ang
- Nora
- IAMBELLE
Monday, February 06, 2006
This is a picture sent to me by althea my babyy! SUCH A NICE PICture!! (: well anyways.. today i went to little india with grace.. pammy.. and denesh.. it was fun being retarded and talking shit with the 3 of em.. making fun of denesh was a blast and taking pictures with pammy was great too..
came home and got locked out of the damn house cos i forgot my keys.. then my dad came home and i got back home.. and i have been on the comp ever since.. I WANT A DAMN JOB..
RESULTS ARE COMING OUTTT!!
- IAMBELLE
Friday, February 03, 2006
so last night i slept late cos i was watching tv with my bro.. we were watching american dad.. and then father of the pride.. and then johnny zero.. and then las vegas.. man.. it was really gooood.. anyways.. i slept at abt 3 or 4.. and when i woke up at like 11.. i was still sleepy!! hahaaha! such a lazy shit..anyways.. so i woke up.. made my bed.. went to bathe.. made breakfast for my brother and i.. and then sat down to watch him play gunbound.. after a while i realised i was SO sleepy i just had to get a nap.. so then i woke up and realised that it was 3! HAHAAHAHAAAHA!
yeah so then i got on the comp and started playing gunbound and being uberly retarded.. HAAHAAHA! im such a bum! oh well... anyways.. so i was playing games and doing the norm and nora came online..
she spoke to me and the rotting friendship of the clique that noone is trying to salvage.. and she was talking abt salvaging it.. but i cant help but think abt how there really is nuthing left to salvage.. its over.. for all of us.. i mean we havent been talking at all..and like noone bothers to call.. everyone is busy with their own thing... and they are BUSY.. but hey i dont need pple that are only my friends when they are free.. i mean whut is friendship? a bond that allows you to chuck someone into your insanely busy schedule when you think you can afford the waste of time? i realise im so totally not looking forward to results day for fear of the bad results that i might anchor.. yet.. i know that on that very dreadful day.. ill get to see my friends.. all over again... we'll all get together again... even though i am sure that i'll prolly be seeing them for the last time... whutever.. dont wanna talk abt it.. dont even wanna THINK abt it..
shout outs time.
Grace: Im sorry you feel this way.. im sorry that things like these have to happen to you.. i know life isnt being very fair to you right now.. but hey.. shit happens.. but you have me to make things better? i love you babe..
Nora: im sorry the conversation ended on such a sour note.. but i didnt wanna lie to you but agreeing to meet you and then putting you thru a whole other lot of bull later.. i just have had enuff of it with my best friend.. you know who im talking abt eh..
Jenn.D : thanks for the song.. I LOVE IT! so so much!! (: i lovee you..
The O' Family: we'll try to keep things running.. but im not gonna reach out unless you guys are willing to do the same.. take care.. ill pray for you guys..
- IAMBELLE