The Slit-Wrist Theory.©™

2006-03-21T19:11:00.000-08:00

so work has started. tiring. boring. but sufficient. im an easy girl to please so its all manageable. yupp. hmm. time passes really fast. and if you lose track of it, days, weeks, months, and even years can pass without notice. so look out.

i think i have a very serious but deadly addiction to the thrills of jay-walking. i do it ALL the time. and my need to do it scares me. its really disturbing. i really have to get over that.

As you lie there, silent, and oblivious, i want you to know that i am sorry. for all my deeds. for the words i so carelessly used. and things i coldly and unlovingly said. i guess it was done thoughtlessly. no words can express just how i feel right now. because i dont know exactly what i feel and what i should feel. its a myriad of feelings. that blur my vision and as i gaze out of the rain streaked window, i wish i could see you walking back home once again, with your chin up, and arms swinging at your sides. i wish i cld hear you tell me you love me. that you forgive me, and that you understand the immense pain you are putting me through. unknowingly, of course. but it all boils down to one thing. i screwed up. and this time i screwed up real bad. this may be a scar in my heart forever. a big blot of ink on clear, crisp white paper. so evident, so visible, SO HARD TO MISS and impossible to remove. maybe i will have to imagine my closure. or, i could just get one. the kid i never dreamed of. but whatever it is, i want you to know that i love you, and that noone can take the place you have in my heart. your indispensable, irreplaceable, and truly amazing in your very own special way, and im sorry i took all that for granted. THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT OF YOU.

2006-02-27T23:21:00.000-08:00

IM SORRY SORRY SORRY.

i know i ddnt come for the mass... but i cldnt.. i was caught up with my own life... and in a way.. im glad i wasnt there..

well anyways.. im just living life thru.. one day at a time.. slowly.. but surely.. anyways... im just feeling crappy.. i dont even know why.. i feel alone... and its all so quiet..

ever felt like silence is deafening.. i feel it now... seriously... its so loud... its deafening..

i miss my best friend... she called me to tell me its over... like forever.. there really is no turning back.. i never knew it wld affect me this much.. but it is.. its killing me...

2006-02-18T16:28:00.000-08:00

HELLO HELLO! WEDNESDAY.. THANKSGIVING MASS IN SCHOOL.. ALERT! ALERT! I WANT YOU ALL TO BE THERE! (:

haiyah.. life's been pretty boring lately.. havent been going out.. talking on the fone to friends and online only.. i miss you all.. going out and gossiping.. i miss making fun of you all.. and most of all... i miss taking pictures!!! (:

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :D

im in a good mood.. HIGH SPIRITS.. (: haaha.. ok now im start to sound like a psycho...

SHOUT OUTS! SHOUT! SHOUT! SHOUTTTTTT!! (:

HANSEL: THANKS FOR THE CALL.. AND FOR THE OFFER OF HELPING ME.. I AM NOT A PAEDOPHILE.. THANK YOU.. BUT YOU ARE A GAY BOY GAY BOY GAYYYY BOY... :D

ALTHEA: YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME.. MADE TIME FOR ME.. BEEN SUCH A FUCKING SWEET FRIEND.. AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR IT.. TAKE CARE ALWAYS.. AND BE GOOD.. I LOVE YOU AND MIUSS YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE MY DEAR BABY GURL! :D

NATTAYEFATTAYE: GOOD LUCK WITH GAYYYYYY-CY.. IM HAPPY FOR YOU... AND GAYYYYY-CYYYYY.. HEH (:

NORA: THANKS FOR THE LATE NIGHT CONVERSATION.. IT FELT GREAT TO TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT AGAIN.. I LOVE YOU MEEEEENAHH!(:

SHER: THANKS TO YOU TOO.. IT WAS GREAT TALKING TO YOU... AND RESTORING WHUT WAS LOST.. I LOVE YOU.. YOU BLOODY AHHHH-LIANN. :D

JENN.D: FOR BEING COOL.. MY SONG-EXCHANGER.. (: AND FOR POSTING FOR ME WHEN MY BLOG STARTS BE A REAL BITCH.. LIKE NOW.. HAHAHAAHHAHA! :D

GRAPES: STUDY HARD AT YISHUN.. DONT PLAY.. ITS IMPORTANT YOU MAKE IT. (:

OH FAMILY: I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH.. CONGRATS GAYLE ON YOUR ENTRY INTO SINGAPORE IDOL.. I WILL VOTE FOR YOU K.. AND THE REST OF YOU.. i love you all so much.. :D

2006-02-14T20:49:00.000-08:00

HEY ALL.. so latest announcement.. im retaking my o level math papers... cos i failed em.. i got a D7.. and i wanna do early childhood.. so i figured i got to retake it... well apart from that nuthing really..

MY BEST FRIEND AND I ARE DOING OK! well not GREAT.. but better i guess.. maybe i do hate her boyfriend for getting in the way.. but i do thank him for making her a better person.. but how does making her better person connect with how he came in between our friendship? that i still dont get.. OH WELL..

i had a great time and united square guys! THANKS! it was great seeing you guys again...

2006-02-07T17:07:00.000-08:00

4 Jobs You Have Had In Your Life:
- volunteer
- friend
-daughter
-student

4 TV Shows You Love:
-one tree hill
-whose line is it anyway
-johnny zero
-frasier

4 Places You Have Been On Vacation To:
-sentosa
-pasir ris beach
-east cost beach
-changi beach

4 Places You Would Rather Be:
- a student in ij
-hollywood
-thailand
-new york

4 Of Your Favourite Foods:
-Soup
-Bread
-Ice cream
-Chicken Rice?

4 Websites You Visit:
- My Blog
- Friendster
- Yahoo
- Launch

4 Tagged:
- Jenn.D
- Althea
- Amanda Ang
- Nora

2006-02-06T20:08:00.000-08:00

This is a picture sent to me by althea my babyy! SUCH A NICE PICture!! (:

well anyways.. today i went to little india with grace.. pammy.. and denesh.. it was fun being retarded and talking shit with the 3 of em.. making fun of denesh was a blast and taking pictures with pammy was great too..

came home and got locked out of the damn house cos i forgot my keys.. then my dad came home and i got back home.. and i have been on the comp ever since.. I WANT A DAMN JOB..

RESULTS ARE COMING OUTTT!!

2006-02-03T22:24:00.000-08:00

so last night i slept late cos i was watching tv with my bro.. we were watching american dad.. and then father of the pride.. and then johnny zero.. and then las vegas.. man.. it was really gooood.. anyways.. i slept at abt 3 or 4.. and when i woke up at like 11.. i was still sleepy!! hahaaha! such a lazy shit..

anyways.. so i woke up.. made my bed.. went to bathe.. made breakfast for my brother and i.. and then sat down to watch him play gunbound.. after a while i realised i was SO sleepy i just had to get a nap.. so then i woke up and realised that it was 3! HAHAAHAHAAAHA!

yeah so then i got on the comp and started playing gunbound and being uberly retarded.. HAAHAAHA! im such a bum! oh well... anyways.. so i was playing games and doing the norm and nora came online..

she spoke to me and the rotting friendship of the clique that noone is trying to salvage.. and she was talking abt salvaging it.. but i cant help but think abt how there really is nuthing left to salvage.. its over.. for all of us.. i mean we havent been talking at all..and like noone bothers to call.. everyone is busy with their own thing... and they are BUSY.. but hey i dont need pple that are only my friends when they are free.. i mean whut is friendship? a bond that allows you to chuck someone into your insanely busy schedule when you think you can afford the waste of time? i realise im so totally not looking forward to results day for fear of the bad results that i might anchor.. yet.. i know that on that very dreadful day.. ill get to see my friends.. all over again... we'll all get together again... even though i am sure that i'll prolly be seeing them for the last time... whutever.. dont wanna talk abt it.. dont even wanna THINK abt it..

shout outs time.

Grace: Im sorry you feel this way.. im sorry that things like these have to happen to you.. i know life isnt being very fair to you right now.. but hey.. shit happens.. but you have me to make things better? i love you babe..

Nora: im sorry the conversation ended on such a sour note.. but i didnt wanna lie to you but agreeing to meet you and then putting you thru a whole other lot of bull later.. i just have had enuff of it with my best friend.. you know who im talking abt eh..

Jenn.D : thanks for the song.. I LOVE IT! so so much!! (: i lovee you..

The O' Family: we'll try to keep things running.. but im not gonna reach out unless you guys are willing to do the same.. take care.. ill pray for you guys..

2006-02-02T16:24:00.000-08:00

ADAM GARCIA.

do i honestly have to say anything?!
THE FERRARI SPIDER 360!

yeah baby! your mine once i get my license!

and yes.. ill start growing the money tree NOW!

2006-02-02T16:17:00.000-08:00

damn.. today was boring.. looking thru starbucks and coffee bean websites... i wanna work in STARBUCKS!! it'd be nice to work there...

well anyways... im bored and now im listening to death cab for cutie... marching bands of manhattan... such a good song.. excellent lyrics.. (:

ive been drinking hell of alot of water.. iced or not... HAHA! tts really bad right.. i mean i know that water is good.. but too much of anything is a bad thing.. haha! anyways... yeh those cornetto minis... MAN! WHEN THEY SAY MINI.. THEY MEAN MINI! damn funny lah! haahahahaahaha! yeah.... i miss grapes and lourdes and jenn d .. it'll be so fun if i cld go out with them and talk shit... and be retarded.. and make fun of pplee.... (:

she still hasnt contacted me yet.. its quite depressing that things between us has turned out to be this way.. i mean she was my best friend.. she was such a good friend of mine.. and we were more than just friends.. i cld talk to her abt anything... be retarded with her.. cry with her.. i remember that conversation i had with her.. we shared our deepest fears.. our future plans.. and we told each other we'd always be there for each other.. that we wld do the same course together since we both coincidentally had such a great interest in.. early childhood.. she promised she wld call me backk.. but she didnt.. i guess she needs time and ill give it to her.. ill wait for her.. take care my best friend.. and dont forget me please.. i miss you..

2006-02-01T21:19:00.000-08:00

HELLO! im back.. i know i havent been blogging but hey im back...
i've been bored.. inactive and sloppy.. i dread waking up cos sleeping is such bliss... and i dread doing work of any kind cos i am just so useless...

well nuthing major has happened in my life really.. just friends' birthdays and a whole lot of slacking and crapping with my family..

its lame.. but i have to say that these holidays did let me get to know myself better.. whut mattered to me.. how i deal with certain situations.. and how much i really love my family.. i really care abt my siblings and my really good friends.. i mean.. maybe time away from my friends showed me how much they mattered and more time ard my siblings made me realise how fun it cld be to just hang out with them...
I LOVE MY SIBLINGSS!!!

well o level results are coming out.. im so scared.. i just have a gut feeling that imma screw it up.. that my paper 2 might screw it all up for me.. well im not gonna think abt it.. im not gonna talk abt it...

well to all you chinese out there... HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR... and to all o level students... DONT THINK ABT THE DAMN RESULTS.

2005-12-17T21:38:00.000-08:00

OKAYE.. so grace has been nagging at me to update.. and i shall do just that..

well life has been rather easy on me for the past few weeks since the end of skool, o levels, and grad night.. am currently missing the ij community alot.. the effects of leaving ij is hitting me really hard now.. i can feel the attachment i have towards the skool, and its just like that, we've been replaced by a new bunch of sec 4s.. almost like we didnt exist.. and even if we existed, it didnt matter.. cos we were dispensable.. well life goes on and things like these are bound to happen eh??

well i am missing skool and all my friends.. i miss sheryl koh! noraziemah! beatrice chow!elizbeth!(both) carrie! grace joseph! jinnles! EVERYONE! EVERYSINGLE ONE!! please get back to me guys.. we cant lose contact.. not now.. well we should all go out.. yeh noe? class chalets, barbeques.. shit like that? PLAN! PLAN! PLAN!!! haahha..

well alot of pple ask me whut i've been up to? nuthing much really.. slacking, church.. christmas carolling, playing games, looking for jobs.. shit like that eh?

well imma end off.... so take care pple.. love much!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! (:

2005-10-25T20:45:00.000-07:00

We live in a greedy little world;
that teaches every little boy and girl,
To earn as much as they can possibly;
then turn around and spend it foolishly.
We've created us a credit card mess,
We spend the money that we don't possess;
Our religion is to go and blow it all,
So it's shoppin' every Sunday at the mall.

All we ever want is more,
A lot more than we had before;
So take me to the nearest store.

When you're broke
go and get a loan;
Take out another mortgage on your home,
Consolidate so you can afford,
To go and spend some more whenyou get bored.

All we ever want is more,
A lot more than we had before;
So take me to the nearest store.

2005-10-20T10:37:00.000-07:00

Hey all..

prelims were a killer.. i got 30 POINTS!!!!!!!! i mean seriously man! i am soooo disgusting... well anyways.. i was just thinking abt life.. and it sucks..

i hate life and i hate mine most.. its brutal painful lonely and screwed up.. YES IT IS! i am soo darn tired and i have areached a point where even a day of 16 hours minus my sleep is just not enuff for me to study.. i dont know whut i am gonna do abt it... yet i am hoping that i am able to walk out of this alive and as a poly student.. i am sooo stressed over wether i am gonna screw things up.. yet.. i fell that i can do it cos i have the relevant brains... BUT I JUST CANT SEEM TO GET MY MEMORY WORKING FOR ME!!! i can study the social studies chapters and forget the contents from the first half of the book.. and currently i can remember faintly..the contents of the chapter venice! WHY? COS ITS THE LAST CHAPTER DAMMIT! i dunno hut to do with myself.. i wish i cld do something like rip the brains off my teachers and use them for the papers cos the teachers are just so smart! ITS LIKE THEY KNOW EVERYHING! urghhhhh! i wish i can get my 15 points! i wanna get 15 POINTS!!! I DO I DO I DO!!!!!!!!!!!! well i guess i can.. and i think i will.. so wish me luck and pray for me..

2005-09-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

HARLEQUIN SWEETLIPS!

NUDIBRANCH! :D

CLEANING SHRIMP!

CLOWNFISH! (:

2005-09-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

ah-ight.. so we were all supposed to go to starbucks todaeeee! but grapes was being a total beach.. and because she didnt go i didnt go.. SORRY JINNLES! :D

well so i woke up late went... cleaned up my house a lil and was getting some water in the kitchen.. so i just glanced out the window.. and GUESS WHO I SAW? BIMBO! i saw evangeline ang! in her uniform.. obviously on her way back home.. i asked her whut she went to skool for and she said, she went for an exam and made her bimbotic shocked face and exclaimed: "BELLE! YOU DIDNT COME! hahaha... just kidding" and i was like omg.. whut a bloddy loser... hahahhaahhahaha.. so i started my day off with a smile.. thanks to evan..

so then i went online and played like a hundred rounds of solitaire with charles... and he only won like say 6 games? hahah love you charlie baby! but you suck and you know it! hahhaahhahahha...

then was talking to grapes... and nisha came on to annoy the living daylights out of me..

after that, i was talking to adrian abt sea creatures.. and we agreed that the master pieces of god's creations are all underwater... they are sooo beautiful.. i will attach some pictures in a while.. yupp.. (:

2005-09-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

THE CHESTNUT BLENNY! :D

2005-09-19T14:59:00.000-07:00

I AM UPDATING GUYS! shocked yet? hah! shut uppp! anywaysss.... prelims are over.. dont even know if that's a good thing.. for one, prelims ending means we are closer to freedom that alos means that we are closer to o levels.. and that brings me to think abt wether i am even prepared.. its so scary how.. the o levels are gonna decide our future.. wether we make it or break it..

i dont even know whut i wanna do after the o levels.. oh god! so scary.. anyway...

mag low is only coming back in ocotober.. she wont be back on the 19th cos she is not recovered yet.. that really sucks.. she is like one of my favourite teachers.. i love her.. to death.. to bits... so damn much! (:

today was stupid.. i went to skool at like 7.00 just to find out that my paper is at 11.00... how lame is that? so i went to the library and i finished reading a book named.. THE BLACK BOOK FOR TEENAGERS ON SEX AND DATING... so funny lah! but damn! it sooooo true.. quite scary actually.. haahhahha... SCARYY!

2005-09-01T18:44:00.000-07:00

mrs low rocks..and i hate parrot... so much.. i could kill her... anyway.. mag low is damn cool.. she is soo sweet.. and i love the living hell out of her.. mother mary's procession is up.. and the three day tridium is on.. so its all good.. i love my friends.. and o levels are scary.. seriously.. hah-

peace.

2005-08-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

So tell me guys.. what is love? really.. what is it? i mean i was thinking abt how all my friends claim they are in love with someone.. but are they rellay in love? i doubt it... honestly.. i think love is a way in which you feel abt someone.. not a state of mind.. whispering late night sweet nothings on the phone, and endless i love you messages on sms.. is this your idea of love? making out passionately and leaving love bites on the neck of your significant other.. is that your idea of love too? damn dooode.. wake up and smell the coffee.. it isnt love. you're NOT in love.